Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Why do some men like anal sex?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I was awaken between 2-3am by a voice that said “Hey”. Literally right next to my ear. Sounded like a males voice, but it wasn’t stern or deep. What could this mean?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t cotton to rapists

What is the most memorable thing that happened in your college days?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Is it true that Jehovah's witnesses once thought the world would end in 1975?

I don’t buy bullshit

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What are some ballbusting stories?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I see through liars

31 Little Upgrades To Your Day-To-Day That Won't Sound Life-Changing…Until You Try Them - BuzzFeed

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Why do men want to suck dick?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I can read

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

How do I write a character’s physical description without it feeling unnatural and clunky? I’m able to describe their hair and body relatively easily because my writing puts emphasis on small movements and fidgeting, but I can’t describe faces.

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Have you ever gone to a porn theater with your wife?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Why would Joseph Smith say that polygamy was God's law?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

How do individuals become targeted individuals? Is it solely due to experiencing stalking or harassment, or are there other factors involved?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I can count

Why do ugly men flirt with girls that are really hot?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I actually pay taxes

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I took the same Oath and took it seriously